Tuesday, January 15, 2013

My Personal Viewing Has Produced These Netflix Filters




If you scrolled through my Netflix personalized filtered lists according to my likes and dislikes this is what you'd find:

WITTY COMEDIES ABOUT WRITERS LIKE YOU THAT ARE GOING NOWHERE EXCEPT XANAX CITY

CEREBRAL DRAMAS THAT ARE SO BORING YOUR WIFE WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU START UP ANOTHER

WORKPLACE COMEDIES THAT ARE LIKE A HORRIFYING MIRROR TO YOUR LIFE

JAMES, STOP SEARCHING FOR GOLDEN GIRLS, NETFLIX DOESN’T HAVE THE FREAKING RIGHTS TO IT, YOU WEIRD OLD LADY LOVER

SWEET ZEUS, STOP SCROLLING, HERE’S THE LIST OF ALL THE SUPER-NERD MOVIES YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY WATCHED OVER AND OVER

WE’RE CREATING IT JUST FOR YOU, THE KEVIN BACON ONLY CHANNEL

DOCUMENTARIES YOU’VE LIED ABOUT SEEING THAT YOU’RE SELF CONSCIOUS OF BEING FOUND OUT ABOUT

SOME PRETENTIOUS CRAP YOU CAN MENTION AT YOUR LITTLE ARTSY PISH POSH PARTIES YOU ATTEND

IRON MAN 3 ISN'T OUT YET, STOP ASKING

WE CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SEARCHED FOR “MOVIES NIC CAGE WAS GOOD IN”, THIS IS A SEARCH BAR, NOT AN OPINIONATED SUPER COMPUTER FROM 2001: SPACE ODDYSSEY AND REALLY IF WE’RE BEING HONEST, NIC CAGE HAS TAINTED EVEN THE MOVIES HE WAS GOOD IN LIKE “RAISING ARIZONA” AND “ADAPTATION” SO YOU’LL NOTICE THIS LIST IS EMPTY